Month: February 2018

Flat Out


Not gonna lie: this life is hard sometimes. I’ve seen friends done wrong by the government, with absolutely no recourse; I’ve seen parents having to choose between their child’s development and their own; young people getting lost in the politics and policies and red tape just trying to do the right thing.

This life is not easy.

But I’m going to lay out our life straight: my husband has been posted this coming summer, and we cannot afford to go with him. The actual dollars coming in from both our Government of Canada paycheques does not equal the amount that will taken. The services for our disabled child here will not equal the services available for him on the other end. The downsizing, saving, lifestyle changing we did this last year would mean nothing. Nothing. In fact, it sets us back further

Which means we will be separated. Again. For a year this time. The first time we will be able to see him after early August will probably be the following March.

Like I said, not easy.

I’m mad. Frustrated. Sad for my child, who has to be without his father again for so long. Irritated that our lives are being so dictated by things we have no control over. Mostly I have no words for the feelings I feel.

I wish I did. I wish I could have the answers for everything. But I also wish I could explain to my son where his father is going and for how long.

I can’t. Because he doesn’t understand. He’s 4 this spring, and I can’t tell him the most important things because he literally doesn’t understand me, or anyone, without the use of CORE vocabulary or PECs cards. And you can’t put “your father isn’t here – the Army sent him away because they don’t understand families like ours” on a picture card.

Okay, it might be Anger.