Strong Women, Strong Words

Now that I’ve got a lot of time on my hands, albeit with a limited amount of mobility (a baby feeding or sleeping on you will do that), I’ve become addicted to Pinterest. So far I have discovered that there are a lot of really cool things and a lot of really awful things that people like to ‘pin’. The attached image is something that I came across late one night, and even though I usually just skim past things like these, this made me so incensed that I had to save it so I could blog about it.

The image comes from a blog dedicated to posting ‘girly girl’ quotations. If you do a Google search for ‘girly girl things’, I guarantee you’ll find at least a dozen of these sites. Apparently they post things that women say or think of that define what it means to be a ‘girly girl’. While I don’t like these sites on principle, it’s the images like this one that make me want to tear them down off the internet and exorcise the lot.

The first statement on the image reads: “Sometimes you’ve got to run away to see who will run after you.” Let me tell you this: if I care about you and you run away, I will not chase you. I will be hurt, I might cry, but under no circumstances will I come looking for you. You chose to leave. Have fun being alone.

“Sometimes you’ve got to talk quieter to see who’s really listening.” WTF does this even mean? Seriously. Bueller? Bueller?

“Sometimes you’ve got to step up to fight only to see who’s standing by your side.” You can be sure that if I pick a fight, I am going to make sure I am strong enough to fight it by myself. I am certainly not going to throw down and then look back at you passive-aggressively to see if you’re planning on joining me. It’s my fight, and you have every right to tell me to go to hell. Sure, help is nice in anything you take on, but there should not ever be an expectation that it is always going to appear. Don’t start something unless you, and only you, can see it through.

“Sometimes you’ve got to make the wrong decision only to see who’s there to help you fix it.” Maybe. After I stop laughing at your ass for making the wrong decision on purpose, moron.

And then we come to this: “Sometimes you’ve got to let go of the one you love just to see if they love you enough to come back to you.” NO. A thousand times NO. It was this statement that incensed me. It was this sentence that made me so mad I had to rage blog.

What does this sentence say that makes me so mad? Firstly, it tells girls that it’s perfectly all right to just let something they care about go without standing up for their right to care about it. And secondly (and more infuriatingly), it suggests that there are women just waiting around for the things they care about to come to them.

THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS, LADIES. It’s not how it works for everyone, in fact: girls or boys, straight or gay, black or white or green. If you want something, if you care about something, you better be prepared to get your hands dirty, skin your knees, hurt your feelings, and lose everything else, because sometimes that’s what it takes. And whether you succeed in getting it or not, you will have the battle scars and a hell of a story to tell, not to mention the respect of everyone who sees what you have gone through. This is called ‘life’. Get acquainted with it. No one is going to hand you a trophy just for participating in it. If you don’t get actively involved in the way your existence is headed, you aren’t going to be all that happy with anything that might happen to bump into you along the way.

If I hadn’t dropped everything I had and knew to move across the country, I wouldn’t be sitting here now with a husband who thinks the world revolves around me and a beautiful child that breaks my heart every moment I spend looking at him. Sure, along the way I was involved in some pretty life-altering medical stuff, and sure I almost died, but you know what? I didn’t. And not only that, I defied every single medical professional proving just how much I refused to be a spectator in my own life. I grabbed that giant bull by the horns and pushed and cried and definitely overdid it, but I am here and I am amazing. And you are too. Remember that, and for my sake, never ever believe anything a ‘girly girl’ blog tells you that you should be.


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