Week in Review: When in Doubt, Duct Tape

When their husbands are away, some people run marathons. Some people spend time with their children and relish the connection they are making. I, apparently, debate pornography with a Padre and duct tape my couch.

Let me elaborate: last week my dear friend The Mad Padre posted on his blog about the sad state of affairs that the current military is engendering in relation to assault on women. He argued that the commonplace attitude of pornography in the field actually did harm to a solider’s views on how to treat women both in combat and as civilians, and cited recent examples of highly-ranked officers behaving badly and making headlines. Now, being a rather progressive woman in that I automatically assume men read and watch porn as a way of life, I suggested that maybe the attitudes about the subject at home could be changed so that the effect is that it also changes in the field. The Padre tossed back a real-life example, and given that I could probably name each of the soldiers in that scenario, my mind went “ick” and I left the debate at that.

However, that got me thinking about what would happen if, somewhere down the road, I had a son and, sometime after that, I caught him with a magazine or a video hidden in his bedroom. I figured I would probably be irrational for a few minutes, but then wondered what my logical, progressive side would do. And here’s what I came up with:

I’d give him homework.

I know, right? First, I would introduce the concept that porn is a way of objectifying women and that, as a man, he had the decision to make on whether or not he agreed with it. I’d have him write ten Pros and Cons for each and then go over them with his father, debating them both objectively. He would have to present his decision to me and back it up using examples as one would during a school debate. After that, I would get him to write a list of all the non-physical things about girls that make him “excited”. Again, he would have to go over the list with his father for review. Lastly, I would get him to make a good copy of the list to post on the back of his bedroom door, and have him throw out/get rid of the old porn himself.

What I’ve now done is teach him the value of women as people rather than objects and made him think about the kinds of things that make a woman beautiful (not just her fake boobs). And all the time he is now in his room with the door closed, I’ll know that the list is shouting the positive aspects of lust at him in my stead.

I think it’s brilliant.

As for the duct tape, I totally did that. I have cats, y’all. At least it matches the whimsical decor.

It’s got penguins on it!

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